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Monday

it’s just the way it is

it’s so absolutely beautiful that mr. t.'s here, really. I wish the scary shadow of his departure wouldn’t follow me so badly and bite my ankles like a little, wicked terrier, but I can’t help it – it’s just the way it is. long distance love is a bulimic kind of love, it rarely hits any balance. it’s either starving or about to burst. it’s mostly difficult, sometimes pretty miserable, always hungry for flesh. but it’s just the way it is. after some years I guess I’ve learnt how to survive it and how not to get bruised too much, but it definitively still has some disturbing aspects.
this post is not about moaning – if I were to choose between what I have and sth more comfortable, I’d absolutely stick to mr. sewer. this post is about longing for some simple every day life on our own again, with no departures, no meetings in between, no missing and a lot of holding hands. when you have it, you tend to think of it as of a background for sth bigger, but when it’s gone, when you’re left alone with day and night longing, loving via skype and a lot of big words in your messages, this really seems to be the point of everything. simplicity builds like nothing else.
you guys who have it, enjoy it – we’ll gonna get it back soon!
-oh

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